The Third Book
On Inward Consolation

CHAPTER XXVI
Of The Exaltation of A Free Spirit,
Which Humble Prayer More
Deserveth Than Doth Frequent Reading

Lord, this is the work of a perfect man, never to slacken his mind from attention to heavenly things, and among many cares to pass along as it were without care, not after the manner of one indifferent, but rather with the privilege of a free man, cleaving to no creature with inordinate affection.

2. I beseech Thee, my most merciful Lord God, preserve me from the cares of this life, lest I become too much entangled; from many necessities of the body, lest I be taken captive by pleasure; from all obstacles of the spirit, lest I be broken and cast down with cares.  I say not from those things which the vanity of the world goeth about after with all eagerness, but from those miseries, which by the universal curse of mortality weigh down and hold back the soul of thy servant in punishment, that it cannot enter into liberty of spirit, so often as it would.

3. O my God, sweetness unspeakable, turn into bitterness all my fleshly consolation, which draweth me away from the love of eternal things, and wickedly allureth toward itself by setting before me some present delight.  Let not, O my God, let not flesh and blood prevail over me, let not the world and its short glory deceive me, let not the devil and his craftiness supplant me. Give me courage to resist, patience to endure, constancy to persevere. Grant, in place of all consolations of the world, the most sweet unction of Thy Spirit, and in place of carnal love, pour into me the love of Thy Name.

4. Behold, food and drink and clothing, and all the other needs appertaining to the support of the body, are burdensome to the devout spirit.  Grant that I may use such things with moderation, and that I be not entangled with inordinate affection for them. To cast away all these things is not lawful, because nature must be sustained, but to require superfluities and things which merely minister delight, the holy law forbiddeth; for otherwise the flesh would wax insolent against the spirit.  In all these things, I beseech Thee, let Thy hand guide and teach me, that I in no way exceed.

"My Son, thou must give all for all, and be nothing of thine own. Know thou that the love of thyself is more hurtful thee than anything in the world.  According to the love and inclination which thou hast, everything more or less cleaveth to thee.  If thy love be pure, sincere, well regulated, thou shalt not be in captivity to anything.  Do not covet what thou mayest not have; do not have what is able to hinder thee, and to rob thee of inward liberty.  It is wonderful that thou committest not thyself to Me from the very bottom of thy heart, with all things which thou canst desire or have.

2. "Why art thou consumed with vain sorrow?  Why art thou wearied with superfluous cares?  Stand thou by My good pleasure, and thou shalt suffer no loss.  If thou seekest after this or that, and wilt be here or there, according to thine own advantage or the fulfilling of thine own pleasure, thou shalt never be in quiet, nor free from care, because in everything somewhat will be found lacking, and everywhere there will be somebody who opposeth thee.

3. "Therefore it is not gaining or multiplying of this thing or that which advantageth thee, but rather the despising it and cutting it by the root out of thy heart; which thou must not only understand of money and riches, but of the desire after honor and vain praise, things which all pass away with the world.  The place availeth little if the spirit of devotion is wanting; nor shall that peace stand long which is sought abroad, if the state of thy heart is without the true foundation, that is, if it abide not in Me.  Thou mayest change, but thou canst not better thyself; for when occasion ariseth and is accepted thou shalt find what thou didst fly from, yea more."

4. Strengthen me, O God, by the grace of Thy Holy Spirit.  Give me virtue to be strengthened with might in the inner man, and to free my heart from all fruitless care and trouble, and that I be not drawn away by various desires after any things whatsoever, whether of little value or great, but that I may look upon all as passing away, and myself as passing away with them; because there is no profit under the sun, and all is vanity and vexation of spirit. (1)  Oh how wise is he that considereth thus!

5. Give me, O Lord, heavenly wisdom, that I may learn to seek Thee above all things and to find Thee; to relish Thee above all things and to love Thee; and to understand all other things, even as they are, according to the order of Thy wisdom.  Grant me prudently to avoid the flatterer, and patiently to bear with him that opposeth me; for this is great wisdom, not to be carried by every wind of words, nor to give ear to the wicked flattering Siren; for thus do we go safely on in the way we have begun.

 (1) Ecclesiastes ii. 11.

"My Son, take it not sadly to heart, if any think ill of thee, and say of thee what thou art unwilling to hear.  Thou oughtest to think worse of thyself, and to believe no man weaker than thyself.  If thou walkest inwardly, thou wilt not weigh flying words above their value.  It is no small prudence to keep silence in an evil time and to turn inwardly unto Me, and not to be troubled by human judgment.

2. "Let not thy peace depend upon the word of men; for whether they judge well or ill of thee, thou art not therefore any other man than thyself.  Where is true peace or true glory?  Is it not in Me?  And he who seeketh not to please men, not feareth to displease, shall enjoy abundant peace.  From inordinate love and vain fear ariseth all disquietude of heart, and all distraction of the senses."

Blessed by thy name, O Lord, for ever more, who hast willed this temptation and trouble to come upon me.  I cannot escape it, but have need to flee unto Thee, that Thou mayest succor me and turn it unto me for good.  Lord, now am I in tribulation, and it is not well within my heart, but I am sore vexed by the suffering which lieth upon me.  And now, O dear Father, what shall I say? I am taken among the snares.  Save me from this hour, but for this cause came I unto this hour, (1) that Thou mightest be glorified when I am deeply humbled and am delivered through Thee. Let it be Thy pleasure to deliver me; (2) for what can I do who am poor, and without Thee whither shall I go?  Give patience this time also.  Help me, O Lord my God, and I will not fear how much soever I be weighed down.

2. And now amid these things what shall I say?  Lord, Thy will be done.  I have well deserved to be troubled and weighed down. Therefore I ought to bear, would that it be with patience, until the tempest be overpast and comfort return.  Yet is Thine omnipotent arm able also to take this temptation away from me, and to lessen its power that I fall not utterly under it, even as many a time past thou has helped me, O God, my merciful God.  And as much as this deliverance is difficult to me, so much is it easy to Thee, O right hand of the most Highest.

 (1) John xii. 27.    (2) Psalm xl. 16.

"My Son, I the Lord am a stronghold in the day of trouble. (1) Come unto Me, when it is not well with thee.

"This it is which chiefly hindereth heavenly consolation, that thou too slowly betakest thyself unto prayer.  For before thou earnestly seek unto Me, thou dost first seek after many means of comfort, and refresheth thyself in outward things; so it cometh to pass that all things profit thee but little until thou learn that it is I who deliver those who trust in Me; neither beside Me is there any strong help, nor profitable counsel, nor enduring remedy.  But now, recovering courage after the tempest, grow thou strong in the light of My mercies, for I am nigh, saith the Lord, that I may restore all things not only as they were at the first, but also abundantly and one upon another.

2. "For is anything too hard for Me, or shall I be like unto one who saith and doeth not?  Where is thy faith?  Stand fast and with perseverance.  Be long-suffering and strong.  Consolation will come unto thee in its due season.  Wait for Me; yea, wait; I will come and heal thee.  It is temptation which vexeth thee, and a vain fear which terrifieth thee.  What doth care about future events bring thee, save sorrow upon sorrow.  Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof. (2)  It is vain and useless to be disturbed or lifted up about future things which perhaps will never come.

3. "But it is the nature of man to be deceived by fancies of this sort, and it is a sign of a mind which is still weak to be so easily drawn away at the suggestion of the enemy.  For he careth not whether he deceive and beguile by true means or false; whether he throw thee down by the love of the present or fear of the future.  Therefore let not thy heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.  Believe in Me, and put thy trust in My mercy. (3) When thou thinkest thyself far removed from Me, I am often the nearer.  When thou reckonest that almost all is lost, then often is greater opportunity of gain at hand.  All is not lost when something goeth contrary to thy wishes.  Thou oughtest not to judge according to present feeling, nor so to take or give way to any grief which befalleth thee, as if all hope of escape were taken away.

4. "Think not thyself totally abandoned, although for the time I have sent to thee some tribulation, or have even withdrawn some cherished consolation; for this is the way to the Kingdom of Heaven.  And without doubt it is better for thee and for all My other servants, that ye should be proved by adversities, than that ye should have all things as ye would.  I know thy hidden thoughts: and that it is very needful for thy soul's health that sometimes thou be left without relish, lest perchance thou be lifted up by prosperity, and desirous to please thyself in that which thou art not.  What I have given I am able to take away, and to restore again at My good pleasure.

5. "When I shall have given, it is Mine; when I shall have taken away, I have not taken what is thine; for every good gift and every perfect gift (4) is from me.  If I shall have sent upon thee grief or any vexation, be not angry, nor let thy heart be sad; I am able quickly to lift thee up and to change every burden into joy.  But I am just and greatly to be praised, when I do thus unto thee.

6. "If thou rightly consider, and look upon it with truth, thou oughtest never to be so sadly cast down because of adversity, but rather shouldst rejoice and give thanks; yea, verily to count it the highest joy that I afflict thee with sorrows and spare thee not.  As My Father hath loved Me, so love I you; (5) thus have I spoken unto My beloved disciples: whom I sent forth not unto worldly joys, but to great strivings; not unto honors, but unto contempt; not unto ease, but to labors; not unto rest, but to bring forth much fruit with patience.  My son, remember these words."

 (1) Nahum i. 7.    (2) Matthew vi. 34. (3) John xiv. 27; Psalm xiii. 5.    (4) James i. 17. (5) John xv. 9.

O Lord, I still need more grace, if I would arrive where neither man nor any other creature may hinder me.  For so long as anything keepeth me back, I cannot freely fly unto Thee.  He desired eagerly thus to fly, who cried, saying, Oh that I had wings like a dove, for then would I flee away and be at rest. What is more peaceful than the single eye?  And what more free than he that desireth nothing upon earth?  Therefore must a man rise above every creature, and perfectly forsake himself, and with abstracted mind to stand and behold that Thou, the Creator of all things, hast among Thy creatures nothing like unto Thyself.  And except a man be freed from all creatures, he will not be able to reach freely after Divine things.  Therefore few are found who give themselves to contemplation, because few know how to separate themselves entirely from perishing and created things.

2. For this much grace is necessary, which may lift up the soul and raise it above itself.  And except a man be lifted up in the spirit, and freed from all creatures, and altogether united to God, whatsoever he knoweth, whatsoever even he hath, it mattereth but little.  He who esteemeth anything great save the one only incomprehensible, eternal, good, shall long time be little and lie low.  For whatsoever is not God is nothing, and ought to be counted for nothing.  Great is the difference between a godly man, illuminated with wisdom, and a scholar learned in knowledge and given to books.  Far nobler is that doctrine which floweth down from the divine fulness above, than that which is acquired laboriously by human study.

3. Many are found who desire contemplation, but they do not strive to practice those things which are required thereunto.  It is also a great impediment, that much is made of symbols and external signs, and too little of thorough mortification.  I know not how it is, and by what spirit we are led, and what we who would be deemed spiritual are aiming at, that we give so great labor and so eager solicitude for transitory and worthless things, and scarcely ever gather our senses together to think at all of our inward condition.

4. Ah, me!  Forthwith after a little recollection we rush out of doors, and do not subject our actions to a strict examination. Where our affections are set we take no heed, and we weep not that all things belonging to us are so defiled.  For because all flesh had corrupted itself upon the earth, the great deluge came. Since therefore out inmost affections are very corrupt, it followeth of necessity that our actions also are corrupt, being the index of a deficient inward strength.  Out of a pure heart proceedeth the fruit of good living.

5. We demand, how much a man hath done; but from how much virtue he acted, is not so narrowly considered.  We ask if he be strong, rich, handsome, clever, whether he is a good writer, good singer, good workman; but how poor he may be in spirit, how patient and gently, how devout and meditative, on these things many are silent.  Nature looketh upon the outward appearance of a man, grace turneth its thought to the heart.  The former frequently judgeth amiss; the latter trusteth in God, that it may not be deceived.

"My Son, thou canst not possess perfect liberty unless thou altogether deny thyself.  All they are enslaved who are possessors of riches, they who love themselves, the selfish, the curious, the restless; those who ever seek after soft things, and not after the thing of Jesus Christ; those who continually plan and devise that which will not stand.  For whatsoever cometh not of God shall perish.  Hold fast the short and complete saying, 'Renounce all things, and thou shalt find all things; give up thy lust, and thou shalt find rest.'  Dwell upon this in thy mind, and when thou art full of it, thou shalt understand all things."

2. O Lord, this is not the work of a day, nor children's play; verily in this short saying is enclosed all the perfection of the religious.

3. "My son, thou oughtest not to be turned aside, not immediately cast down, because thou hast heard the way of the perfect. Rather oughtest thou to be provoked to higher aims, and at the least to long after the desire thereof.  Oh that it were so with thee, and that thou hadst come to this, that thou wert not a love of thine own self, but wert ready always to My nod, and to his whom I have placed over thee as thy father.  Then shouldest thou please Me exceedingly, and all thy life should go on in joy and peace.  Thou hast still many things to renounce, which if thou resign not utterly to Me, thou shalt not gain what thou seekest. I counsel thee to buy of Me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich, (1) that is heavenly wisdom, which despiseth all base things.  Put away from thee earthly wisdom, and all pleasure, whether common to men, or thine own.

4. "I tell thee that thou must buy vile things with those that are costly and great in the esteem of men.  For wonderfully vile and small, and almost given up to forgetfulness, doth true heavenly wisdom appear, which thinketh not high things of itself, nor seeketh to be magnified upon the earth; many honor it with their lips, but in heart are far from it; it is indeed the precious pearl, which is hidden from many."

 (1) Revelation iii. 18.

"My Son, trust not thy feeling, for that which is now will be quickly changed into somewhat else.  As long as thou livest thou art subject to change, howsoever unwilling; so that thou art found now joyful, now sad; now at peace, now disquieted; now devout, now indevout; now studious, now careless; now sad, now cheerful.  But the wise man, and he who is truly learned in spirit, standeth above these changeable things, attentive not to what he may feel in himself, or from what quarter the wind may blow, but that the whole intent of his mind may carry him on to the due and much desired end.  For thus will he be able to remain one and the same and unshaken, the single eye of his desire being steadfastly fixed, through the manifold changes of the world, upon Me.

2. "But according as the eye of intention be the more pure, even so will a man make his way steadfastly through the manifold storms.  But in many the eye of pure intention waxeth dim; for it quickly resteth itself upon anything pleasant which occurreth, and rarely is any many found altogether free from the blemish of self-seeking.  So the Jews of old came to Bethany, to the house of Martha and Mary, that they might see not Jesus, but Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. (1)  Therefore must the eye of the intention be cleansed, that it may be single and right, and above all things which come in its way, may be directed unto Me."

 (1) John xii. 9.

Behold, God is mine, and all things are mine!  What will I more, and what more happy thing can I desire?  O delightsome and sweet world! that is, to him that loveth the Word, not the world, neither the things that are in the world. (2)  My God, my all! To him that understandeth, that word sufficeth, and to repeat it often is pleasing to him that loveth it.  When Thou art present all things are pleasant; when Thou art absent, all things are wearisome.  Thou makest the heart to be at rest, givest it deep peace and festal joy.  Thou makest it to think rightly in every matter, and in every matter to give Thee praise; neither can anything please long without Thee but if it would be pleasant and of sweet savor, Thy grace must be there, and it is Thy wisdom which must give unto it a sweet savor.

2. To him who tasteth Thee, what can be distasteful?  And to him who tasteth Thee not, what is there which can make him joyous? But the worldly wise, and they who enjoy the flesh, these fail in Thy wisdom; for in the wisdom of the world is found utter vanity, and to be carnally minded is death.  But they who follow after Thee through contempt of worldly things, and mortification of the flesh, are found to be truly wise because they are carried from vanity to verity, from the flesh to the spirit.  They taste that the Lord is good, and whatsoever good they find in creatures, they count it all unto the praise of the Creator.  Unlike, yea, very unlike is the enjoyment of the Creator to enjoyment of the Creature, the enjoyment of eternity and of time, of light uncreated and of light reflected.

3. O Light everlasting, surpassing all created lights, dart down Thy ray from on high which shall pierce the inmost depths of my heart.  Give purity, joy, clearness, life to my spirit that with all its powers it may cleave unto Thee with rapture passing man's understanding.  O when shall that blessed and longed for time come when Thou shalt satisfy me with Thy presence, and be unto me All in all?  So long as this is delayed, my joy shall not be full.  Still, ah me! the old man liveth in me: he is not yet all crucified, not yet quite dead; still he lusteth fiercely against the spirit, wageth inward wars, nor suffereth the soul's kingdom to be in peace.

4. But Thou who rulest the raging of the sea, and stillest the waves thereof when they arise, rise up and help me.  Scatter the people that delight in war. (2)  Destroy them by Thy power.  Show forth, I beseech Thee, Thy might, and let Thy right hand be glorified, for I have no hope, no refuge, save in Thee, O Lord my God.

 (2) I John ii. 15.    (2) Psalm lxviii. 30.

"My Son, thou art never secure in this life, but thy spiritual armor will always be needful for thee as long as thou livest. Thou dwellest among foes, and art attacked on the right hand and on the left.  If therefore thou use not on all sides the shield of patience, thou wilt not remain long unwounded.  Above all, if thou keep not thy heart fixed upon Me with steadfast purpose to bear all things for My sake, thou shalt not be able to bear the fierceness of the attack, nor to attain to the victory of the blessed.  Therefore must thou struggle bravely all thy life through, and put forth a strong hand against those things which oppose thee.  For to him that overcometh is the hidden manna given, (1) but great misery is reserved for the slothful.

2. "If thou seek rest in this life, how then wilt thou attain unto the rest which is eternal?  Set not thyself to attain much rest, but much patience.  Seek the true peace, not in earth but in heaven, not in man nor in any created thing, but in God alone. For the love of God thou must willingly undergo all things, whether labors or sorrows, temptations, vexations, anxieties, necessities, infirmities, injuries, gainsayings, rebukes, humiliations, confusions, corrections, despisings; these things help unto virtue, these things prove the scholar of Christ; these things fashion the heavenly crown.  I will give thee an eternal reward for short labor, and infinite glory for transient shame.

3. "Thinkest thou that thou shalt always have spiritual consolations at thy will?  My Saints had never such, but instead thereof manifold griefs, and divers temptations, and heavy desolations.  But patiently they bore themselves in all, and trusted in God more than in themselves, knowing that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be received in us. (2)  Wouldst thou have that immediately which many have hardly attained unto after many tears and hard labors?  Wait for the Lord, quit thyself like a man and be strong; be not faint-hearted, nor go aside from Me, but constantly devote thy body and soul to the glory of God. I will reward thee plenteously, I will be with thee in trouble." (3)

 (1) Revelation ii. 17.    (2) Romans viii. 17. (3) Psalm xci. 15.

"My Son, anchor thy soul firmly upon God, and fear not man's judgments, when conscience pronounceth thee pious and innocent. It is good and blessed thus to suffer; nor will it be grievous to the heart which is humble, and which trusteth in God more than in itself.  Many men have many opinions, and therefore little trust is to be placed in them.  But moreover it is impossible to please all.  Although Paul studied to please all men in the Lord, and to become all things to all men, (1) yet nevertheless with him it was a very small thing that he should be judged by man's judgment." (2)

2. He labored abundantly, as much as in him lay, for the building up and the salvation of others; but he could not avoid being sometimes judged and despised by others.  Therefore he committed all to God, who knew all, and by patience and humility defended himself against evil speakers, or foolish and false thinkers, and those who accused him according to their pleasure. Nevertheless, from time to time he replied, lest his silence should become a stumbling block to those who were weak.

3. "Who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die?  To-day he is, and to-morrow his place is not found. Fear God and thou shalt not quail before the terrors of men. What can any man do against thee by words or deeds?  He hurteth himself more than thee, nor shall he escape the judgment of God, whosoever he may be.  Have thou God before thine eyes, and do not contend with fretful words.  And if for the present thou seem to give way, and to suffer confusion which thou hast not deserved, be not angry at this, nor by impatience diminish thy reward; but rather look up to Me in heaven, for I am able to deliver thee from all confusion and hurt, and to render to every man according to his works."

 (1) I Corinthians ix. 22.    (2) I Corinthians iv. 3.

"My Son, lose thyself and thou shalt find Me.  Stand still without all choosing and all thought of self, and thou shalt ever be a gainer.  For more grace shall be added to thee, as soon as thou resignest thyself, and so long as thou dost not turn back to take thyself again."

2. O Lord, how often shall I resign myself, and in what things shall I lose myself?

3. "Always; every hour: in that which is little, and in that which is great.  I make no exception, but will that thou be found naked in all things. Otherwise how canst thou be Mine and I thine, unless thou be inwardly and outwardly free from every will of thine own?  The sooner thou dost this, the better shall it be with thee; and the more fully and sincerely, the more thou shalt please Me, and the more abundantly shalt thou be rewarded.

4. "Some resign themselves, but with certain reservations, for they do not fully trust in God, therefore they think that they have some provision to make for themselves.  Some again at first offer everything; but afterwards being pressed by temptation they return to their own devices, and thus make no progress in virtue. They will not attain to the true liberty of a pure heart, nor to the grace of My sweet companionship, unless they first entirely resign themselves and daily offer themselves up as a sacrifice; without this the union which bringeth forth fruit standeth not nor will stand.

5. "Many a time I have said unto thee, and now say again, Give thyself up, resign thyself, and thou shalt have great inward peace.  Give all for all; demand nothing, ask nothing in return; stand simply and with no hesitation in Me, and thou shalt possess Me.  Thou shalt have liberty of heart, and the darkness shall not overwhelm thee.  For this strive thou, pray for it, long after it, that thou mayest be delivered from all possession of thyself, and nakedly follow Jesus who was made naked for thee; mayest die unto thyself and live eternally to Me.  Then shall all vain fancies disappear, all evil disturbings, and superfluous cares. Then also shall immoderate fear depart from thee, and inordinate love shall die."

"My Son, for this thou must diligently make thy endeavor, that in every place and outward action or occupation thou mayest be free within, and have power over thyself; and that all things be under thee, not thou under them; that thou be master and ruler of thy actions, not a slave or hireling, but rather a free and true Hebrew, entering into the lot and the liberty of the children of God, who stand above the present and look upon the eternal, who with the left eye behold things transitory, and with the right things heavenly; whom temporal things draw not to cleave unto, but who rather draw temporal things to do them good service, even as they were ordained of God to do, and appointed by the Master Workman, who hath left nought in His creation without aim or end.

2. "And if in any chance of life thou stand not in outward appearances, nor judgest things which are seen and heard by the fleshly sense, but straightway in every cause enterest with Moses into the tabernacle to ask counsel of God; thou shalt hear a divine response and come forth instructed concerning many things that are and shall be.  For always Moses had recourse to the tabernacle for the solving of all doubts and questionings; and fled to the help of prayer to be delivered from the dangers and evil deeds of men.  Thus also oughtest thou to fly to the secret chamber of thy heart, and earnestly implore the divine succor. For this cause we read that Joshua and the children of Israel were deceived by the Gibeonites, that they asked not counsel at the mouth of the Lord, (1) but being too ready to listen to fair speeches, were deceived by pretended piety."

 (1) Joshua ix. 14.

"My Son, always commit thy cause to Me; I will dispose it aright in due time.  Wait for My arrangement of it, and then thou shalt find it for thy profit."

2. O Lord, right freely I commit all things to Thee; for my planning can profit but little.  Oh that I did not dwell so much on future events, but could offer myself altogether to Thy pleasures without delay.

3. "My Son, a man often striveth vehemently after somewhat which he desireth; but when he hath obtained it he beginneth to be of another mind, because his affections towards it are not lasting, but rather rush on from one thing to another. Therefore it is not really a small thing, when in small things we resist self."

4. The true progress of man lieth in self-denial, and a man who denieth himself is free and safe.  But the old enemy, opposer of all good things, ceaseth not from temptation; but day and night setteth his wicked snares, if haply he may be able to entrap the unwary.  Watch and pray, saith the Lord, lest ye enter into temptation. (1)

 (1) Matthew xxvi. 41.

Lord, what is man that Thou art mindful of him, or the son of man that Thou visitest him? (2)  What hath man deserved, that Thou shouldest bestow thy favor upon him?  Lord, what cause can I have of complaint, if Thou forsake me?  Or what can I justly allege, if Thou refuse to hear my petition?  Of a truth, this I may truly think and say, Lord, I am nothing, I have nothing that is good of myself, but I fall short in all things, and ever tend unto nothing.  And unless I am helped by Thee and inwardly supported, I become altogether lukewarm and reckless.

2. But Thou, O Lord, art always the same, and endurest for ever, always good, righteous, and holy; doing all things well, righteously, and holily, and disposing all in Thy wisdom.  But I who am more ready to go forward than backward, never continue in one stay, because changes sevenfold pass over me.  Yet it quickly becometh better when it so pleaseth Thee, and Thou puttest forth Thy hand to help me; because Thou alone canst aid without help of man, and canst so strengthen me that my countenance shall be no more changed, but my heart shall be turned to Thee, and rest in Thee alone.

3. Wherefore, if I but knew well how to reject all human consolations, whether for the sake of gaining devotion, or because of the necessity by which I was compelled to seek Thee, seeing there is no man who can comfort me; then could I worthily trust in Thy grace, and rejoice in the gift of new consolation.

4. Thanks be to Thee, from whom all cometh, whensoever it goeth well with me!  But I am vanity and nothing in Thy sight, a man inconstant and weak.  What then have I whereof to glory, or why do I long to be held in honor?  Is it not for nought?  This also is utterly vain.  Verily vain glory is an evil plague, the greatest of vanities, because it draweth us away from the true glory, and robbeth us of heavenly grace.  For whilst a man pleaseth himself he displeaseth Thee; whilst he gapeth after the praises of man, he is deprived of true virtues.

5. But true glory and holy rejoicing lieth in glorying in Thee and not in self; in rejoicing in Thy Name, not in our own virtue; in not taking delight in any creature, save only for Thy sake. Let thy Name, not mine be praised; let Thy work, not mine be magnified; let Thy holy Name be blessed, but to me let nought be given of the praises of men.  Thou art my glory, Thou art the joy of my heart.  In Thee will I make my boast and be glad all the day long, for myself let me not glory save only in my infirmities. (2)

6. Let the Jews seek the honor which cometh from one another; but I will ask for that which cometh from God only. (3)  Truly all human glory, all temporal honor, all worldly exultation, compared to Thy eternal glory, is but vanity and folly.  O God my Truth and my Mercy, Blessed Trinity, to Thee alone be all praise, honor, power, and glory for ever and for ever.  Amen.

 (2) Psalm viii. 4.    (2) 2 Corinthians xii. 5. (3) John v. 44.

"My Son, make it no matter of thine, if thou see others honored and exalted, and thyself despised and humbled.  Lift up thine heart to Me in heaven, and then the contempt of men upon earth will not make thee sad."

2. O Lord, we are in blindness, and are quickly seduced by vanity.  If I look rightly within myself, never was injury done unto me by any creature, and therefore I have nought whereof to complain before Thee.  But because I have many times and grievously sinned against Thee, all creatures do justly take arms against me.  Therefore to me confusion and contempt are justly due, but to Thee praise and honor and glory.  And except I dispose myself for this, namely, to be willing that every creature should despise and desert me, and that I should be esteemed altogether as nothing, I cannot be inwardly filled with peace and strength, nor spiritually enlightened, nor fully united to Thee.

"My Son, if thou set thy peace on any person because thou hast high opinion of him, and art familiar with him, thou shalt be unstable and entangled.  But if thou betake thyself to the ever living and abiding Truth, the desertion or death of a friend shall not make thee sad.  In Me ought the love of thy friend to subsist, and for My sake is every one to be loved, whosoever he be, who appeareth to thee good, and is very dear to thee in this life.  Without Me friendship hath no strength or endurance, neither is that love true and pure, which I unite not.  Thou oughtest to be so dead to such affections of beloved friends, that as far as in thee lieth, thou wouldst rather choose to be without any companionship of men.  The nearer a man approacheth to God, the further he recedeth from all earthly solace.  The deeper also he descendeth into himself, and the viler he appeareth in his own eyes, the higher he ascendeth towards God.

2. "But he who attributeth anything good to himself, hindereth the grace of God from coming to him, because the grace of the Holy Ghost ever seeketh the humble heart.  If thou couldst make thyself utterly nothing, and empty thyself of the love of every creature, then should it be My part to overflow unto thee with great grace.  When thou settest thine eyes upon creatures, the face of the Creator is withdrawn from thee.  Learn in all things to conquer thyself for thy Creator's sake, then shalt thou be able to attain unto divine knowledge.  How small soever anything be, if it be loved and regarded inordinately, it holdeth us back from the highest good, and corrupteth."

"My Son, let not the fair and subtle sayings of men move thee. For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power. (1)  Give ear to My words, for they kindle the heart and enlighten the mind, they bring contrition, and they supply manifold consolations. Never read thou the word that thou mayest appear more learned or wise; but study for the mortification of thy sins, for this will be far more profitable for thee than the knowledge of many difficult questions.

2. "When thou hast read and learned many things, thou must always return to one first principle.  I am He that teacheth man knowledge, (2) and I give unto babes clearer knowledge than can be taught by man.  He to whom I speak will be quickly wise and shall grow much in the spirit.  Woe unto them who inquire into many curious questions from men, and take little heed concerning the way of My service.  The time will come when Christ will appear, the Master of masters, the Lord of the Angels, to hear the lessons of all, that is to examine the consciences of each one.  And then will He search Jerusalem with candles, (3) and the hidden things of darkness (4) shall be made manifest, and the arguings of tongues shall be silent.

3. "I am He who in an instant list up the humble spirit, to learn more reasonings of the Eternal Truth, than if a man had studied ten years in the schools.  I teach without noise of words, without confusion of opinions, without strivings after honor, without clash of arguments.  I am He who teach men to despise earthly things, to loathe things present, to seek things heavenly, to enjoy things eternal, to flee honors, to endure offenses, to place all hope in Me, to desire nothing apart from Me, and above all things to love Me ardently.

4. "For there was one, who by loving Me from the bottom of his heart, learned divine things, and spake things that were wonderful; he profited more by forsaking all things than by studying subtleties.  But to some I speak common things, to others special; to some I appear gently in signs and figures, and again to some I reveal mysteries in much light.  The voice of books is one, but it informeth not all alike; because I inwardly am the Teacher of truth, the Searcher of the heart, the Discerner of the thoughts, the Mover of actions, distributing to each man, as I judge meet."

 (1) I Corinthians iv. 20.    (2) Psalm xciv. 10. (3) Zephaniah i. 12.    (4) I Corinthians iv. 5.

"My Son, in many things it behoveth thee to be ignorant, and to esteem thyself as one dead upon the earth, and as one to whom the whole world is crucified.  Many things also thou must pass by with deaf ear, and must rather think upon those things which belong unto thy peace.  It is more profitable to turn away thine eyes from those things that displease, and to leave each man to his own opinion, than to give thyself to discourses of strife. If thou stand well with God and hast His judgment in thy mind, thou wilt verily easily bear to be as one conquered."

2. O Lord, to what have we come?  Behold a temporal loss is mourned over; for a trifling gain we labor and hurry; and spiritual loss passeth away into forgetfulness, and we rarely recover it.  That which profiteth little or nothing is looked after, and that which is altogether necessary is negligently passed by; because the whole man slideth away to outward things, and unless he quickly recovereth himself in outward things he willingly lieth down.

Lord, be thou my help in trouble, for vain is the help of man. (1) How often have I failed to find faithfulness, where I thought I possessed it.  How many times I have found it where I least expected.  Vain therefore is hope in men, but the salvation of the just, O God, is in Thee.  Blessed be thou, O Lord my God, in all things which happen unto us.  We are weak and unstable, we are quickly deceived and quite changed.

2. Who is the man who is able to keep himself so warily and circumspectly as not sometimes to come into some snare of perplexity?  But he who trusteth in Thee, O Lord, and seeketh Thee with an unfeigned heart, doth not so easily slip.  And if he fall into any tribulation, howsoever he may be entangled, yet very quickly he shall be delivered through Thee, or by Thee shall be comforted, because Thou wilt not forsake him that trusteth in Thee unto the end.  A friend who continueth faithful in all the distresses of his friend is rare to be found.  Thou, O Lord, Thou alone art most faithful in all things, and there is none other like unto Thee.

3. Oh, how truly wise was that holy soul which said, "My mind is steadfastly fixed, and it is grounded in Christ." (2)  If thus it were with me, the fear of man should not so easily tempt me, nor the arrows of words move me.  Who is sufficient to foresee all things, who to guard beforehand against future ills?  If even things which are foreseen sometimes hurt us, what can things which are nor foreseen do, but grievously injure?  But wherefore have I not better provided for myself, miserable that I am?  Why, too, have I given such heed to others?  But we are men, nor are we other than frail men, even though by many we are reckoned and called angels.  Whom shall I trust, O Lord, whom shall I trust but Thee?  Thou art the Truth, and deceivest not, nor canst be deceived.  And on the other hand, Every man is a liar, (3) weak, unstable and frail, especially in his words, so that one ought scarcely ever to believe what seemeth to sound right on the face of it.

4. With what wisdom hast thou warned us beforehand to beware of men, and that a man's foes are they of his own household, (4) and that we must not believe if one say unto us Lo here, or Lo there. (5)  I have been taught by my loss, and O that I may prove more careful and not foolish hereby.  "Be cautious," saith some one: "be cautious, keep unto thyself what I tell thee."  And whilst I am silent and believe that it is hid with me, he himself cannot keep silence concerning it, but straightway betrayeth me and himself, and goeth his way.  Protect me, O Lord, from such mischief-making and reckless men; let me not fall into their hands, nor ever do such things myself.  Put a true and steadfast word into my mouth, and remove a deceitful tongue far from me. What I would not suffer, I ought by all means to beware of doing.

5. Oh, how good and peacemaking a thing it is to be silent concerning others, and not carelessly to believe all reports, nor to hand them on further; how good also to lay one's self open to few, to seek ever to have Thee as the beholder of the heart; not to be carried about with every wind of words, but to desire that all things inward and outward be done according to the good pleasure of Thy will!  How safe for the preserving of heavenly grace to fly from human approval, and not to long after the things which seem to win admiration abroad, but to follow with all earnestness those things which bring amendment of life and heavenly fervor!  How many have been injured by their virtue being made known and too hastily praised.  How truly profitable hath been grace preserved in silence in this frail life, which, as we are told, is all temptation and warfare.

 (1) Psalm lx. 11.    (2) St. Agatha    (3) Psalm cxvi. 11. (4) Romans iii. 4.    (5) Matthew xxiv. 23.

"My Son, stand fast and believe in Me.  For what are words but words?  They fly through the air, but they bruise no stone.  If thou are guilty, think how thou wouldst gladly amend thyself; if thou knowest nothing against thyself, consider that thou wilt gladly bear this for God's sake.  It is little enough that thou sometimes hast to bear hard words, for thou art not yet able to bear hard blows.  And wherefore do such trivial matters go to thine heart, except that thou art yet carnal, and regardest men more than thou oughtest?  For because thou fearest to be despised, thou art unwilling to be reproved for thy faults, and seekest paltry shelters of excuses.

2. "But look better into thyself, and thou shalt know that the world is still alive in thee, and the vain hope of pleasing men. For when thou fleest away from being abased and confounded for thy faults, it is plain that thou art neither truly humble nor truly dead to the world, and that the world is not crucified to thee.  But hearken to My word, and thou shalt not care for ten thousand words of men.  Behold, if all things could be said against thee which the utmost malice could invent, what should it hurt thee if thou wert altogether to let it go, and make no more account of it than of a mote?  Could it pluck out a single hair of thy head?

3. "But he that hath no heart within him, and hath not God before his eyes, is easily moved by a word of reproach; but he who trusteth in Me, and seeketh not to abide by his own judgment, shall be free from the fear of men.  For I am the Judge and the Discerner of all secrets; I know how the thing hath been done; I know both the injurer and the bearer.  From Me went forth that word, by My permission this hath happened, that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed. (1)  I shall judge the guilty and the innocent; but beforehand I have willed to try them both by a secret judgment.

4. "The testimony of men often deceiveth.  My judgment is true; it will stand, and it shall not be overturned.  It commonly lieth hid, and only to few in certain cases is it made known; yet it never erreth, nor can err, although it seem not right to the eyes of foolish men.  To Me, therefore, must men have recourse in all judgment, and must not lean to they opinion.  For there shall no evil happen to the just, (2) whatsoever may be sent to him by God. Even though some unjust charge be brought against him, he will care little; nor, again, will he exult above measure, if through others he be clearly vindicated.  For he considereth that I am He who try the hearts and reins, (3) who judge not outwardly and according to human appearance; for often in Mine eyes that is found blameworthy which in the judgment of men is held worthy of praise."

5. O Lord God, O Judge, just, strong, and patient, who knowest the frailty and sinfulness of men, be Thou my strength and my whole confidence; for my own conscience sufficeth me not.  Thou knowest what I know not; and therefore ought I under all rebuke to humble myself, and to bear it meekly.  Therefore mercifully forgive me as often as I have not done this, and grant me the next time the grace of greater endurance.  For better unto me is Thine abundant pity for the attainment of Thy pardon, than the righteousness which I believe myself to have for defense against my conscience, which lieth wait against me.  Although I know nothing against myself, yet I am not hereby justified, (4) because if Thy mercy were removed away, in Thy sight should not man living be justified. (5)

 (1) Luke ii. 35.    (2) Proverbs xii. 21.    (3) Psalm vii. 9. (4) Corinthians iv. 4.    (5) Psalm cxliii. 2.

"My Son, let not the labors which thou hast undertaken for Me break thee down, nor let tribulations cast thee down in any wise, but let my promise strengthen and comfort thee in every event.  I am sufficient to reward thee above all measure and extent.  Not long shalt thou labor here, not always be weighed down with sorrows.  Wait yet a little while, and thou shalt see a speedy end of thine evils.  An hour shall come when all labor and confusion shall cease.  Little and short is all that passeth away with time.

2. "Do earnestly what thou dost; labor faithfully in My vineyard; I will be thy reward.  Write, read, sing, weep, be silent, pray, endure adversities manfully; eternal life is worthy of all these conflicts, yea, and of greater.  Peace shall come in one day which is known to the Lord; which shall be neither day nor night, (1) but light eternal, infinite clearness, steadfast peace, and undisturbed rest.  Thou shalt not say then, Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? (2) nor cry out, Woe is me, for my sojourning is prolonged, (3) because death will be utterly destroyed, and there shall be salvation which can never fail, no more anxiety, happy delight, sweet and noble society.

3. "Oh, if thou sawest the unfading crowns of the Saints in heaven, and with what great glory they now rejoice, who aforetime were reckoned by this world contemptibly and as it were unworthy of life, truly thou wouldst immediately humble thyself even to the earth, and wouldst desire rather to be in subjection to all, than to have authority over one; nor wouldst thou long for pleasant days of this life, but wouldst more rejoice to be afflicted for God's sake, and wouldst esteem it gain to be counted for nought amongst men.

4. "Oh, if these things were sweet to thy taste, and moved thee to the bottom of thine heart, how shouldst thou dare ever once to complain?  Are not all laborious things to be endured for the sake of eternal life?  It is no small thing, the losing or gaining the Kingdom of God.  Lift up therefore thy face to heaven.  Behold, I and all My Saints with Me, who in this world had a hard conflict, now rejoice, are now comforted, are now secure, are now at peace, and shall remain with Me ever more, in the Kingdom of My Father."

 (1) Zechariah xiv. 7.    (2) Romans vii. 24.  (3) Psalm cxx.

Oh most blessed mansion of the City which is above!  Oh most clear day of eternity which the night obscureth not, but the Supreme Truth ever enlighteneth!  Day always joyful, always secure and never changing its state into those which are contrary.  Oh would that this day might shine forth, and that all these temporal things would come to an end.  It shineth indeed upon the Saints, glowing with unending brightness, but only from afar and through a glass, upon those who are pilgrims on the earth.

2. The citizens of heaven know how glorious that day is; the exiled sons of Eve groan, because this is bitter and wearisome. The days of this life are few and evil, full of sorrows and straits, where man is defiled with many sins, ensnared with many passions, bound fast with many fears, wearied with many cares, distracted with many questionings, entangled with many vanities, compassed about with many errors, worn away with many labors, weighed down with temptations, enervated by pleasures, tormented by poverty.

3. Oh when shall there be an end of these evils?  When shall I be delivered from the wretched slavery of my sins?  When shall I be mindful, O Lord, of Thee alone?  When shall I rejoice in Thee to the full?  When shall I be in true liberty without any impediment, without any burden on mind or body?  When shall there be solid peace, peace immovable and secure, peace within and without, peace firm on every side?  Blessed Jesus, when shall I stand to behold Thee?  When shall I gaze upon the glory of Thy kingdom?  When shalt Thou be to me all in all?  Oh when shall I be with Thee in Thy Kingdom which Thou hast prepared from the foundation of the world for them that love Thee?  I am left destitute, an exile in a hostile land, where are daily wars and grievous misfortunes.

4. Console my exile, mitigate my sorrow, for towards Thee all my desire longeth.  For all is to me a burden, whatsoever this world offereth for consolation.  I yearn to enjoy Thee intimately, but I cannot attain unto it.  I long to cleave to heavenly things, but temporal things and unmortified passions press me down.  In my mind I would be above all things, but in my flesh I am unwillingly compelled to be beneath them.  So, wretched man that I am, I fight with myself, and am made grievous even unto myself, while the spirit seeketh to be above and the flesh to be beneath.

5. Oh how I suffer inwardly, while with the mind I discourse on heavenly things, and presently a crowd of carnal things rusheth upon me whilst I pray.  My God, be not Thou far from me, nor depart in wrath from Thy servant.  Cast forth Thy lightning and scatter them; send out Thine arrows, (1) and let all delusions of my enemy be confounded.  Recall my senses unto Thyself, cause me to forget all worldly things; grant me quickly to cast away and despise the imaginations of sin.  Succor me, O Eternal Truth, that no vanity man move me.  Come unto me, O Heavenly Sweetness, and let all impurity flee from before Thy face.  Pardon me also, and of Thy mercy deal gently with me, whensoever in prayer I think on anything besides Thee; for truly I confess that I am wont to be continually distracted.  For often and often, where in the body I stand or sit, there I myself am not; but rather am I there, whither I am borne by my thoughts.  Where my thought is, there am I; and there commonly is my thought where that which I love is.  That readily occurreth to me, which naturally delighteth, or pleaseth through custom.

6. Wherefore Thou, who art the Truth, hast plainly said, Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (2)  If I love heaven, I gladly meditate on heavenly things.  If I love the world, I rejoice in the delights of the world, and am made sorry by its adversities.  If I love the flesh, I am continually imagining the things which belong to the flesh; if I love the spirit, I am delighted by meditating on spiritual things.  For whatsoever things I love, on these I readily converse and listen, and carry home with me the images of them.  But blessed is that man who for Thy sake, O Lord, is willing to part from all creatures; who doth violence to his fleshly nature and crucifieth the lusts of the flesh by the fervor of his spirit, so that with serene conscience he may offer unto Thee a pure prayer, and be made worthy to enter into the angelic choirs, having shut out from himself, both outwardly and inwardly, all worldly things.

 (1) Psalm lxxi. 12.    (2) Matthew vi. 21.

"My Son, when thou feelest the desire of eternal happiness to be poured into thee from above, and longest to depart from the tabernacle of this body, that thou mayest contemplate My glory without shadow of turning, enlarge thine heart, and take in this holy inspiration with all thy desire.  Give most hearty thanks to the Supreme Goodness, who dealeth with thee so graciously, visiteth thee so lovingly, stirreth thee up so fervently, raiseth thee so powerfully, lest thou sink down through thine own weight, to earthly things.  For not by thine own meditating or striving dost thou receive this gift, but by the sole gracious condescension of Supreme Grace and Divine regard; to the end that thou mayest make progress in virtue and in more humility, and prepare thyself for future conflicts, and cleave unto Me with all the affection of thy heart, and strive to serve Me with fervent will.

2. "My Son, often the fire burneth, but the flame ascendeth not without smoke.  So also the desires of some men burn towards heavenly things, and yet they are not free from the temptation of carnal affection.  Thus therefore they are not acting with an altogether simple desire for God's glory when they pray to Him so earnestly.  Such, too, is oftentimes thy desire, when thou hast imagined it to be so earnest.  For that is not pure and perfect which is tainted with thine own self-seeking.

3. "Seek thou not what is pleasant and advantageous to thyself, but what is acceptable and honorable unto Me; for if thou judgest rightly, thou must choose and follow after My appointment rather than thine own desire; yea, rather than anything that can be desired.  I know thy desire, and I have heard thy many groanings.  Already thou longest to be in the glorious liberty of the children of God; already the eternal home delighteth thee, and the heavenly country full of joy; but the hour is not yet come; there remaineth still another season, even a season of warfare, a season of labor and probation.  Thou desirest to be filled with the Chief Good, but thou canst not attain it immediately.  I AM that Good; wait for Me, until the Kingdom of God shall come.

4. "Thou must still be tried upon earth, and be exercised in many things.  Consolation shall from time to time be given thee, but abundant satisfying shall not be granted.  Be strong therefore, and be thou brave both in working and in suffering things which are against thy nature.  Thou must put on the new man, and be changed into another man.  Thou must often do what thou wouldst not; and thou must leave undone what thou wouldst do.  What pleaseth others shall have good success, what pleaseth thee shall have no prosperity.  What others say shall be listened to; what thou sayest shall receive no heed.  Others shall ask and receive; thou shalt ask and not obtain.  Others shall be great in the report of men, but about thee shall nothing be spoken.  To others this or that shall be entrusted; thou shalt be judged useful for nought.

5. "For this cause nature shall sometimes be filled with sadness; and it is a great thing if thou bear it silently.  In this and many like things the faithful servant of the Lord is wont to be tried, how far he is able to deny himself and bring himself into subjection in all things.  Scarcely is there anything in which thou hast need to mortify thyself so much as in seeing things which are adverse to thy will; especially when things are commanded thee to be done which seem to thee inexpedient or of little use to thee.  And because thou darest not resist a higher power, being under authority, therefore it seemeth hard for thee to shape thy course according to the nod of another, and to forego thine own opinion.

6. "But consider, My Son, the fruit of these labors, the swift end, and the reward exceeding great; and thou shalt find it no pain to bear them then, but rather the strongest solace of thy patience.  For even in exchange for this trifling desire which thou hast readily forsaken, thou shalt always have thy will in Heaven.  There verily thou shalt find all that thou wouldst, all that thou canst long for.  There thou shalt have all good within thy power without fear of losing it.  There thy will, ever at one with Mine, shall desire nothing outward, nothing for itself. There no man shall withstand thee, none shall complain of thee, none shall hinder, nothing shall stand in thy path; but all things desired by thee shall be present together, and shall refresh thy whole affection, and fill it up even to the brim. There I will glory for the scorn suffered here, the garment of praise for sorrow, and for the lowest place a throne in the Kingdom, for ever.  There shall appear the fruit of obedience, the labor of repentance shall rejoice, and humble subjection shall be crowned gloriously.

7. "Now therefore bow thyself humbly under the hands of all men; nor let it trouble thee who said this or who ordered that; but take special heed that whether thy superior, thy inferior, or thy equal, require anything from thee, or even show a desire for it; take it all in good part, and study with a good will to fulfill the desire.  Let one seek this, another that; let this man glory in this, and that man in that, and be praised a thousand thousand times, but rejoice thou only in the contempt of thyself, and in Mine own good pleasure and glory.  This is what thou art to long for, even that whether by life or by death God may be ever magnified in thee." (1)

 (1) Philippians i. 20.